from the horizon

Summer (southern hemisphere, so this means December – February) is a good time to be home in New Zealand. The weather is war, it’s the holiday season and things generally slow down. Yet, I should know by now that a visit back home is not a holiday. In the three and a half years I’ve been away, I’ve been fortune to have been home 5 times, which has helped me keep in close contact with friends at home. However each time there is a rush to catch up with as many people as possible, and take care of all the little  things that need to be taken care of at home: dental appointment, new passport, buying shoes which fit me…

When I’ve come home on holiday during a contract, the time is generally more limited, but also more contained. I’m coming home to visit, and I know what, and where I’m going back to. Coming home at the end of a contract, before I’ve arranged more work is more daunting. All of a sudden I’m back staying at my parents house, without any immediate plans to leave, worried that I could be stuck here for the rest of my life.  More than once I have considered settling down back in New Zealand, buying furniture, a car, maybe evening getting a mortgage and a cat. But I‘ve always felt that I’ve got a little bit of the travel bug left in me which I need to get out first. And so I’ve always looked to the horizon.

During this particular trip home it was also unsettling  to realize how many of my friends are now living away from New Zealand, mostly in London, experiencing the traditional OE (Overseas Experience). Of 3 other friends from university I went camping with over new years, only one of us now lived permanent in NZ.

I did come home with the possibility of work with the head office of the NGO I had worked for in Indonesia, which would be based in the USA. But I also knew that NGOs can be a fickle and slow moving temptress, so it was best not to put all my hopes and dreams into the chance of that contract coming through. (It seems the “Financial Crisis” seems to have scuttled that dream, although these days it is possible to blame virtually anything on the financial crisis: Didn’t do your homework – Sorry – “Financial Crisis”; Burnt the dinner – “Financial Crisis”; Cheated on your partner – …)

My Plan B was to… take a year off. A drastic and radical move for me, being somewhat of a workaholic. Last time I had attempted this (Aug. 2005), I had lasted a stunning 6 weeks before finding myself volunteering in Aceh. Not a bad move, but certainly not a year off. But the time was ripe again to stop trying to seek self identify in my work, cast myself free of into the world, and see where I ended up. To add some more structure to this idea I also prepared myself an escape route: a RedR training course in India at the end of January.

With an end in sight, I was able to better enjoy my time back in NZ. It is a great place to call home, and I draw a certain comfort from the fact given all of the strife and problems in the world, I have this little slice of heaven to come home to.  I had some great times at various beaches, took a number of trips out of Auckland, spent a good amount of time with friends and family and wrote a paper on humanitarian logistics information systems (I did mention that I was a workaholic?).

Sunset from my Parent’s Beach House in NZ

It wasn’t long enough – but it never is.